So in 2015, my main achievement was being stable for a year (continuing to eat and my weight being stable). But that doesn’t mean im magically better? Why does everyone think it does?

Christmas wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but it didn’t end well. Me and my brother got on better than we have in years. I spent the day and lunch with my parents, brother and grandma. When my granddad passed, Christmas was with all of the family cousins etc, so this year was different as it was just us. I ate all my food, I continued with the day. Boxing day I spent with my other family. But then I emotionally went downhill, my physical appearance doesn’t show that, my fake smile is believed by all. I’ve cried every night, I feel so sad. I feel huge. And I don’t think anyone realises im not okay. I’m really not okay.